It’s here again, as it is every year whether we want it or not. A time of religious celebrations, family gatherings, precious time with friends, pure agony or simply a pause for reflection before we start a New Year. Whatever your attitude, it’s here nonetheless.
I don’t need to tell you that this year, things are different…very different.
It seems like a lifetime and yet 5 minutes ago that we were celebrating Christmas last year the same way we usually do, whatever that means to you. And for the most part, we were joyously naïve to the collective battle the World would have on it’s hands in 2020.
2020 has been a global challenge, felt by every person occupying our ever shrinking World. We could be with relatives or friends on the other side of the World in hours, dine out with favourite people, moan about spending the day travelling between loved ones. No mention of social distancing, hand gel, Covid-19.
So, this Christmas, my advice to you is stop for a second and instead of simply battling to get through the holiday, waiting for things to get better in 2021.
Stop…
And think…
All of the things that are making us unhappy about 2020 are reasons to rejoice and celebrate. How can you make a difference moving forward? Who needs to know how much they are missed and loved? What changes can you make to ensure that you grab life by the horns and ride free?
And not forgetting those of you who are finding quiet peace in the scaled down festivities. How can you honour yourself moving forward and lose the things that you haven’t missed?
Because know this. By this time next year, our oddly all-encompassing 2020 will be a distant memory but a memory all the same.
How will you make sure that you remember with a smile what 2020 gave you the courage to do?
Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, walking and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here
Are you finding it hard to view your cup as anything but half empty at the moment?
There seems to be a real feeling of despair as we approach Christmas, a typically fun and social time of the year. Families are deciding who makes the Christmas day “cut”. Farmers are putting Turkeys on diets to keep them small enough for 6 and retailers and the leisure industries are bracing themselves for more lean times.
At times like these, it’s worth remembering just how well off we really are in much of the World.
We have food in our bellies.
We can still get out and about, even if it doesn’t seem as fun.
We have technology so that we can communicate with loved ones.
So let’s spare a thought for those of us who’s daily struggle is not the fact that they forgot their facemask when they went shopping, or they can only stay out until 10pm in the UK.
Let’s spare a thought for those for whom Covid-19 rules and regulations would be welcome instead of their daily battle for food and safety and freedom.
Start by giving thanks for yourself and try this quick exercise…
Write down 3 things that you are thankful for
Read it and breathe a sigh of relief for exactly where you are right now…cup half full!
Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, walking and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here
It is said that I am the rarest personality type with less than 1% of “me’s” in the World population! I think that’s pretty cool but it does cause problems when I talk about my introversion to my amazing Extroverted friends and family.
You see, I need to give you a little bit of geek info here for all of you personality type junkies. Although I possess introverted intuition which basically means I live my life in my head (it’s great there!), the “f” in my formation means that I also possess extroverted feelings. Again, to the laymen this means that I like to make people feel at ease and happy so I can appear extremely extroverted. I also morph into the situation I’m in.
For example, at parties, I will appear to be the life and soul but this is short lived as I quickly become exhausted and feel trapped in a World of small talk and exposure.
I can cope with it at work and as I have a job which requires me to be on the same wavelength with many different people, it works well. Also, I get to go home and veg for an hour to process my day and rest my tired brain,
You don’t have to have the same personality type as me to feel this way but many of you (almost 50% have an “I” formation don’t forget) will be identifying with some of what I’m saying.
Here are 5 signs you’re a strung-out introvert following Christmas…
I feel tired all the time – mental tiredness is different from physical tiredness which we all feel at this time of year. Your brain just can’t seem to get into gear
I feel upset or angry and I don’t know why – agitation with others is a sure sign that your introvert walls have been breached
I feel as if everyone is getting to me – I will often describe this feeling as “fractured” like an eggshell that has been partially broken
I want to be alone all the time – you’ve had enough “people time” you’ve been using your extroverted skills for the last few weeks and you’ve had enough
I don’t feel like myself – you’re not serving the need inside of you to have quiet time. Often returning to work can be another stress, having to be around people and be your work persona
Luckily, there are things that you can do to help you through and soon you’ll be feeling your amazing quietly confident self again…
Own it!
Know that you are more introverted and accept that you actually need to be alone sometimes. This doesn’t mean disappearing on a Buddhist retreat for a month, it simply means accepting that it’s ok to feel as you do and understanding why.
Be Mindfully Alone
By this I mean take time to acknowledge that you are putting time aside to be alone. Even if it’s a walk, a run, a bath or shower; tell yourself “I’m taking this time for me” and enjoy it. You could even try notching up the amount of minutes you’ve taken throughout the day and indulgently look back on them at the end of the day.
Breathe
This is the best way to deal with, well, ANY situation. If you can find your breath and truly be with it, you’re onto a winner. First of all, look at the way you breathe. Stand in front of a mirror and take a deep breath in. Chances are your upper chest will rise and fall as you breathe…
WRONG!!
This is sadly the way too many of us breathe. We are only using our upper torso to breathe which means we’re missing out on essential yummy life giving oxygen.
Do a full BELLY BREATH try and bring the breath to the bottom of your belly so that it inflates when you breathe. If you don’t know what I mean, watch a baby or an animal breathe, they’re so much better at it!
Once you have the hang of this, breathe in fully for a count of 6, hold for a count of 6, breathe out for a count of 6 and hold for a count of 6.
Repeat this for around 1 and a half minutes. you’ll probably feel a bit dizzy (that’s the oxygen) but you’ll be energised and that’s another 1 and a half minutes just for you! you can do it anytime, anywhere.
Don’t be Afraid to say No
I’m rubbish at this, always have been – and even now as I try an explain myself to my nearest an dearest I get blank looks. I choose to remember how much better I feel when I serve my self and my needs. I become the best version of me!
Hopefully, you will have found something to like about this blog. If, however, you’re reading it thinking “What is she talking about?” you’re probably one of the other amazing 50% of the World who are extroverts.
Extroverts! I salute you!
Introverts! I salute you!
Ambiverts! I salute you! (that’s a whole other story!)
Remember to be aware, but most of all, be kind, after all we are all needed to make the World go around.
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I’ve just opened my laptop after what seems like a lifetime. Flickering hopefully on the screen was the first few lines of my pre-Christmas blog. Eerily enough, I was due to talk about the fact that Christmas is not always a great time of year.
Many of the young adults that I work with do not look forward to time at home. At best it can be a source of stress or, in some cases; prolonged exposure to emotional and physical abuse.
I must admit it raised a smile when I read the beginnings of what would describe my Christmas this year… not all it’s cracked up to be.
We knew this year was going to be different but in a good way. For the first time in 10 years I was not going to be hosting Christmas! I was excited to be staying with my Dad and Step Mum and being thoroughly spoiled. This happened and thank goodness, as it provided a flicker of happiness in a very dark time.
You see, my husband’s mum, my mother-in-law; died quite suddenly on 14th December this year.
There it is, said in one sentence but an event which shook our World at a time when families unite. It seemed like whilst the whole World hurriedly prepared for parties, presents and holidays, we were talking to funeral directors and choosing coffins.
So, Christmas has mostly been something to “get through” this year.
But, get through it we did, and here we are, ready to face a new year and a new time for our family.
We’ve had to dig deep and find the laughs where we could. Oddly, there were many of them and we are beginning to define our new normal.
So, my message is particularly personal this time. I want you to spend a minute or two thinking about what is most important to you. Then, give thanks for it and appreciate it. We are all loved in some way, make sure you know how you are loved and be aware of your own ripple effect too.
