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Online Courses Now Available!

Yes!!!!

For less than the cost of a quality therapy session, I’ve designed two bespoke online courses just for you gorgeous people!

Head over to the Page to have a closer look!

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There’s an Anxiety Course and a Bullying Course!!

Both include up to 90 minutes of tuition and guided exercises from yours truly!

But that’s not all! you can download and keep the courses FOREVER!! and both have comprehensive notes for you to keep.

So, whether your intentions are personal or whether you’d like to amp up your professional development, look no further!

For  more information or for Block purchases please contact me

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here

If you like what you see, please hit the “follow” button, or for non-WordPress peeps, click here to leave your email address for updates

Check out my clothing for Gorgeous People here

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Please leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

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You don’t own me… learn to spot the signs of Coercive and Controlling Behaviour

Now that we are beginning to talk about finding a way back to normal after isolation, many of us will be looking forward to getting out and about, being able to see family and friends etc. and returning to school or work.

Stop and think for a moment though…there may be some people who have welcomed the time apart from a significant other or are dreading the thought of seeing them again.

Spare a thought for victims of Coercive and Controlling behaviour…

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Photo by Vera Arsic on Pexels.com

In 2012, the UK Government added guidelines to their Domestic Violence definitions to include…

“Victims of “honour” violence or killings, e.g. Female Genital Mutilation, forced marriage etc. although this is not confined to a particular gender or ethnic group

Coercive Behaviour – an act or pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation, intimidation or other abuse used to harm, punish or frighten the Victim.

Controlling Behaviour – a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from support, exploiting them for capital gain, depriving them of means needed for independence, resistance or escape and regulating their every day behaviour”

Unfortunately and perhaps shockingly in current times where we see young adults able to express themselves safely like never before, I see cases of Coercive and Controlling Behaviour within relationships all the time.

Also unfortunate and shocking is the fact that few young people, females in particular; even know what it is.

I see young people who’s partners are

  • circulating indecent images of them
  • shaming them on Social Media
  • controlling access to their friends and family
  • controlling their dress and image

To help young People understand what Coercive and Controlling Behaviour (a form of domestic violence) is, I’ve put together a case study below which is sadly a common story…

Emily is going out with Karl. They have been together 3 weeks. Emily’s best friend, Jaz doesn’t much like Karl. she thinks he is too controlling and has seen a change in Emily since she has been with him.

Emily tells Jaz that Karl loves her and only wants the best for her. Karl actually thinks that Jaz is controlling also. Emily and Jaz fall out.

Two weeks later, Karl shares indecent images of Emily on Social Media. When she confronts him, he says it’s because he is so proud of how beautiful she is and wants his friends to be jealous. He adds that she should never question him.

Karl has told Emily that she is not to wear makeup except when she is with him and he also controls what she can wear if she goes out without him. She rarely spends time away from him except for family functions.

People have started to notice that Emily spends a lot of time with Karl.

Emily tells herself that Karl treats her badly sometimes but overall he loves her. She has distanced herself from her friends and has no one to really talk to.

She doesn’t see anything wrong in Karl’s behaviour as he doesn’t hit her or hurt her.

THIS IS NOT OK! IT IS A FORM OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!

My frustration is that many young adults, particularly girls, fall victim to this type of behaviour partly because they don’t understand that it is wrong.

The feelings we have, when we experience our first love are intense and we can find ourselves trapped in a bad relationship, hoping to feel those feelings again. Unfortunately, this rarely happens and those lovely feelings are often replaced by negative feelings and fear.

If you or someone you know may be affected, please seek help from someone you trust or contact a specialist organisation for more help…don’t suffer in silence, we all have a choice and a right to be happy!

https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help?gclid=CjwKCAjw4871BRAjEiwAbxXi2yNTCi6ZX77jS8u5tntqNNtOv2WgH9vFf1ygiu_FWT4-zRC_qqZ0JRoC2joQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.everydayhealth.com/columns/voices-of-experience/how-you-can-help-someone-controlling-relationship/

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here

If you like what you see, please hit the “follow” button, or for non-WordPress peeps, click here to leave your email address for updates

Check out my clothing for Gorgeous People here

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Please leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

How to Manage Conflict at home

How to Beat the Bully for Good!

Which Wolf do you Feed?

Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

 

 

 

How to Beat the Bully for Good!

Check out my 3 Bully Busting Facts and  3 Top Tips for beating the bully in your life…

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Photo by Odonata Wellnesscenter on Pexels.com

With the recent rise in cases of Domestic disturbance, it highlights to us all that not everyone is having a fun time staying in.

Several terms are being used to talk about the behaviour that falls under the wider umbrella of “Bullying”.

It is worth saying at this point that if you feel threatened in any way please get help.

FACT 1 – The majority of bullies have very low self-worth

FACT 2 -The bully needs you more than you need them!

FACT 3 – YOU as the victim have the power

Bullies project their behaviour onto others to get a reaction and to help them feel better about themselves. This is not in any way a strategy to feel better about yourself and so the bully never feels any better.

A lot of bullies are repeating behaviour they have been exposed to in a strange way, they want you to feel as bad as them. this creates a need in them…YOU

Before your bully came into your life you were probably getting along quite happily and you will get along quite happily once they have left your life. So, you need to recognise your power and make a decision to stay in this stagnant relationship, or leave.

If you choose to put some Victim Va Va Voom in your life and leave your bully in the dust, here are my Top 5 Tips…

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

1. Get to know your bully

This doesn’t mean you have to try and be friends. What I’m talking about here is playing them at their own game. Your bully has been studying you to see where your weaknesses are. These may be to do with your appearance, life choices etc. You need to focus on them. I don’t mean become a stalker, just simple observations…trust me.

Ask yourself if they seem happy, do they seem anxious, does anyone else like them, who stands up to them?

The simple act of switching your attention onto studying them will cause some micro changes in your body language which will be noticed.

2. Try a different reaction

Remember, your bully will be used to seeing you avoid them, perhaps getting upset etc. so let’s shake things up a bit.

Depending on how brave you are feeling, you can try one of these two reactions…

Walk away from your bully but in your head, channel your favourite celebrity or a person you admire who would never stand for this abuse. Count to 100 before stopping or looking back. AND SMILE!

or

Don’t walk away, agree with everything they say whilst yawning and looking at your watch or phone. Ask them to let you know when they are done. They will probably get really angry at this point and direct more abuse at you so make sure you prepare for this and try and stay calm.

3. Look at yourself

Once you have dispatched your bully and have returned to your great life, you need to be really honest with yourself and look at some reasons why you may have become, and more importantly, stayed a victim. Once you can identify what happened, you will then be far more effective at ensuring you are never a victim again.

Just remember that bullies are only humans too, they have floors and they can be defeated but you hold the key to this.

If you would like to know more about the psychology behind this intricate and common relationship, click here and leave your email address to be the first to know when my interactive online course to beat bullies comes out soon.

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here

If you like what you see, please hit the “follow” button, or for non WordPress peeps, click here to leave your email address for updates

Please leave me a comment below or contact me directly.

You can also see what I’m up to on Twitter and Facebook and follow my books on Goodreads or Amazon

Or check out my personalised clothing line here

If you liked this article, here are some more you might be interested in…

Which Wolf do you Feed?

Anxiety – Why do I feel it?

Articles from Sarah

Please take a second to check out my book on Amazon now! It’s free to Amazon prime members!

 

 

 

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