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Victim Va Va Voom Part 2

Lesson
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Your Victim Va Va Voom is beginning to ignite!!!

Without even realising it, your body language will begin to change with your newfound inner knowledge.

But even our Va Va Voom needs a little Super-charged Super-power so here are some quick fixes for dealing with a bully in real time …

  • Walk away from the bully – count to 100 before you stop
  • As you walk away, imagine you are your favourite superhero or amazing person and smile inside!

If you feel confident enough to confront them…

  • Yawn, look at your watch and say “let me know when you’re done”
  • Agree with whatever they say, then laugh
  • Say, “Is that the best you can do?” and then walk away (counting to 100 and channelling your inner super hero!)

When you get out of the situation, think about how the bully reacted when you didn’t respond to them.

Did they shout even more and get angry?

If they did, result! You’ve rattled them!

Scales continue to tip in your favour!

How are you feeling? Hopefully, you are starting to feel a little more confident, let’s explore this…

It’s important at this point, not to go too far the other way. Let me explain…

The feeling we get when we realise that we have defeated a bully can be amazing and can fill us with confidence. This is where we need to be careful.

We need to learn how to handle our newfound confidence! Luckily, you already have the tools to do this. They are the same amazing elements of you that attracted the bully to you in the first place.

Remember when talked about the bully / victim relationship and how the bully usually selects a certain type of person. You are that person!

  • It’s likely you will be a gentle, quiet individual – or –
  • You have a special or unique part of you that makes you different – or –
  • You have an ability to see straight through other people’s BS – or –
  • You have chosen, up until now, to stay in victim mode because it is easier or because it is a way for you to get some much-needed attention

If you can be truly honest with yourself and answer “yes” to at least one of these statements, you are already winning at life!

You have to learn to own your new confidence and the best way to do this is to remember what you have been able to achieve so far in managing your bully. You have learned a unique set of life skills which you can use for the rest of your life and also, perhaps one day, show to another person who might need it!

  • Self-control
  • Patience
  • Understanding of someone else
  • Ability to walk in other’s shoes (Empathy)

Now, you’ve discovered these amazing facts about yourself and how to use your existing powers effectively, its time to FORGIVE but not FORGET