How an Extrovert helped an Introvert…

Yes, sometimes we can benefit from some help confronting a part of us that doesn’t work so well, and when we do, that’s when the magic happens!


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Recently, I had a conversation with my Daughter-in-Law-in-Waiting about my motivation and how it was sometimes my worst enemy when trying to bring projects to life.

I am an INFJwhich is a fairly obscure personality type as anyone who knows me will agree! She is an ESTJ. There is far more to it than she is an extrovert and I am an introvert. The four letters make a difference and the order in which they come make another difference again!

To keep things simple, we all have four functions which make up our “function stack” (the four letters). For the purposes of this article, I am looking at my weakest function and my Daughter-in-Law-in-Waiting’s strongest function.

My weakest function is something called “Extroverted Sensing”. When this is working well and when someone has it higher up their “stack”, it gives them the ability to simplify problems and take action, be playful but also realistic and; perhaps most importantly, stay present in a situation!

As this is my weakest function, I can pretty much say that I tend to act out the opposite of these positive functions. This gives me a problem when I am trying to bring to life the amazing ideas and possibilities that I conjure up in my Introverted Intuitive brain!

My Daughter-in-Law-in-Waiting’s strongest function is her Extroverted Thinking which suits her job as a project manager expertly well! She excels in bringing order to chaos and leading others to do so.

She told me that, at work, she has 3 project boards. The first is the “Ideas” board where thoughts, ideas and problems to be solved are added.

The second is the “Live Project” board, where ideas are accepted as worthy projects and are in the planning stage.

The final board is the “Completion” board. This is where projects go to be finished, they have a timeline and a full project management system in place. Deadlines are set here!

My Daughter-in-Law-in-Waiting told me that she feels I get stuck in the first two project boards and I rarely move to the “Completion” phase of a project! This was a light bulb moment for me!

I was able to engage my Introverted Intuitive mind and create a beautiful project board of my own! It’s colour coordinated (yes, yes, ok, I spent more time creating the project board than I should…I AM an INFJ guys!) and I love to look at it.

I  noticed two key things though…

  1. There weren’t as many pressing things to get completed as I thought
  2. I actually find myself a little less distracted (I said “a little less” come on, baby steps!) as I work towards the satisfying strike through to mark an action off my list

Happy Action planning to you all!

Sarah Terry is a School Counsellor and Author who works in Central England. Her interests include Counselling and Psychology, Personality Types, Jogging and Yoga and Meditation. Find out more here

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Introverts…Currently Saving the World!

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