Gee proceeded to tell me that she had been sexually abused by one of her older brother’s friends when she was much younger. The abuse had gone on for a while and Gee had told noone.
She would later tell me that she truly thought she would not be believed and that everyone would side with him. Like most victims of abuse, he had made Gee feel so helpless that the option of telling anyone and seeing their reaction would be shameful.
Things moved very quickly, the police became involved and Gee underwent hours of questions
The perpetrator was arrested and pleaded guilty to the charges. Gee was overwhelmed.
In my work, I often see the most awful circumstances create the most solid and beautiful state of growth and I solemnly believe that there are very few instances that we experience in life that do not serve us in some way… in the end.
This was demonstrated rather dramatically with Gee.
She slowly got her mojo back…and more!
Her and Tom’s already rocky relationship had been further damaged by the abuse declaration. Tom was angry with the World, a World where someone could do this to anyone, let alone the love of his life.
Unfortunately for them both, their relationship was not yet mature enough to weather this storm. And yet it was Gee who made the decision to end it.
Then she made some more decisions.
Gee applied to and gained a place at a Uni far away from where she lived. (Yes – Uni! The girl who nearly didn’t make it through her GCSE’s)
Gee wanted to leave the World behind and start afresh. I felt in my heart this was what she needed and hoped she was able to call on that strength and resilience when she needed to.
The time had come for our final session…
We were both nervous and full of anticipation. I was trying to remain professional knowing that for Gee this was going to be difficult.
I had tried to do a lot of work with her about how people move through life and have relationships that end but this wasn’t always a bad thing.
This girl had not only suffered loss, the key loss being the support of her mum who had moved away from the family; she had also never seen the joy of a healthy relationship and how she could play her part in it.
For Gee, leaving school was going to be unbearable.
She came and sat down, a cheeky grin on her face. I returned her smile. She was uncomfortable and squirmed in her seat. I felt uncomfortable too but I had to take charge of the situation.
“Here we are” I said, looking at Gee
“Yep! Here we are” her eyes widened
“How do you feel?” I ventured
“You know why”
“Yes I do, but you also know that this has to happen to enable you to move forward”
Gee was silent, she played with her bag like a much younger child would.
“Will I ever see you again?” She blurted
“Well I’m sure we’ll bump into each other at some point and besides I’d love to know how Uni goes.”
“Would you meet me for coffee sometime?”
“I’d really like that Gee but as long as we both understand that I’m not your counsellor anymore”
I could feel my clinical supervisor’s raised eyebrow burning into the back of my head.
“You see, do you remember what I said about how we make a journey through life and people are part of that journey? Well hopefully, you can see that we can continue our journeys separately but with a shared interest to see how each other is getting on”
“I don’t want to get you in any trouble”
With that Gee stood up rather unexpectedly and gathered her things.
“Can I have a hug?” she asked
“You? Hug? But you don’t do hugs!” I laughed
“I do with special people”
We embraced, and I held her tiny back in my hands.
“You’ll be amazing” I whispered to her “But you have to let yourself do it!”
We separated, and I followed Gee to the door of my room. She didn’t look at me.
“See you for coffee soon then” She quipped as she strode back to her lesson.
She didn’t look back, I suspect because she didn’t want me to see the tears in her eyes.
Just as well, she would have seen the tears in mine too.
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